We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
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Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
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I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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