i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
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