I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
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