New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize