remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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