I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
