I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
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