Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
