Just mADE A PArabola og urine
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
