There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week