he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
25 Disturbing Facts That Will Make You Question Everything
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
31 People Admit To Nasty Things They Do On The Reg
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.