dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Randomize
