How'd it feel making her break her religion?
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
