so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize