Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Randomize