Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
