My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Randomize