ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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