I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
