At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
we're making bets on your personal life
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
