Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
