Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
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