Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
