you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
