so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Randomize
