I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize
