there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
We had sex on a dog bed..
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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