the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
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