WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Randomize
