He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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