Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize
