just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Randomize