arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Randomize
