I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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