All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Randomize
