They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
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