Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
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