i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
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Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
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I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
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