i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize
