Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Randomize
