no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
