Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
this boner is exhausting
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize
