i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
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