You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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