dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
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