Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
