I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Randomize
