A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize