my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
