Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
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I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
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I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
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