So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Randomize
