I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Randomize