why im i the only drunk person in the library?
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
