So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
