Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
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Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Watching her eat just hurts me
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
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The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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