i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
do herpes really smell.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
